One of the most important, if not the most important, driving force in interpersonal relationships is communication. You hear it everywhere: communication is key.
There are seminars, manuals, books, all kinds of resources available to help us learn to better communicate with others -- whether it’s our roommates, people with whom we work, family members, or significant others.
Even God wants to be in constant communication with us. That’s what prayer is. It is our way to talk to God, to confess our fears and share our dreams and ask for guidance and beg for help.
There are two major breakdowns in communication that cause chaos in interpersonal relationships: misunderstandings and misrepresentations.
The one we discussed at our last meeting was misrepresentation, which can basically be translated as lies.
We lie for a number of different reasons. We tell little “white lies” to get our way, or to help move things along.
We omit certain parts of the truth because we deem them unimportant or unnecessary information to relay. We justify this with “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
Some lies begin with good intention. We lie in order to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or, in our eyes, to protect another person. We say, “That outfit looks great!” when we know that it’s the single most hideous piece of clothing we’ve ever seen, or “Sorry, my cell phone didn’t have service,” when we are intentionally avoiding someone.
Some lies are downright malicious. We spread rumors behind someone’s back or paint them in an unfavorable light in order to get what we want. We tell someone an untruth to cover up a wrong we have committed.
Some lies are just pointless. We say, “I’m stuck in traffic, but I’m on the way!” when we haven’t even left our home yet.
And then there are the cultural lies we tell to children: the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus.
No matter what our intentions, no matter how difficult it is to tell the truth, we know that the truth is ALWAYS the best option. We may think that a lie will prevent certain consequences, but what that’s doing is assuming that we have ultimate control over our lives. And for those of us who follow Christ, no matter how we try to deny it, that in itself is a lie.
Just look back on the times where you have actually gotten away with a lie. The truth went undiscovered for a long time, maybe a long enough time to where you avoided repercussions, maybe the truth is still unknown.
How did you feel about that lie when you told it?
How do you feel about it now?
Do you wonder why you didn’t tell the truth?
Are you still carrying around a burden, topping it off with other lies to cover it up?
Did the benefits of the lie outweigh the effects of the decision?
Is that relationship still intact?
Or is it more difficult to face that person day after day with this secret?
Are those people even still in your life?
Or did they fade away throughout the seasons, making that one lie absolutely pointless?
Maybe it’s not a big one you’re thinking of, so these questions seem more dramatic in nature.
Or maybe what you’re thinking of is so outstanding you can’t get away from it. Someone lies. The person they lie to finds out somehow, feels betrayed and the relationship is severed. Then the parties involved either work painfully to restore the relationship or they never move past it and go their separate ways.
Whether you have lied or been lied to, created distrust or felt the effects of betrayal, take solace in this truth: that which creates pain is often what shapes us the most in life, and in our walk with Christ. And if we allow Him to use the things that were intended for evil in our lives, they can be a glorious testimony of the redemptive nature of God.
Nothing in the kingdom of God is ever wasted.
But keep in mind, that lies do have consequences. Lies beget lies beget lies, and they transform the lives of so many around us.
God knows what lying does to us. He knows how lies can rip us apart and have ripple effects. And that is why He commands us not to fall into the sinful pattern of lying.
But God doesn’t ask anything of us that He doesn’t hold himself to. Which brings us to the first promise we examine in this series: it is impossible for God to lie.
Knowing that God cannot lie, we can be assured of so many things. We can be assured that He will NEVER betray us.
Knowing that it is impossible for God to lie gives us freedom to trust His motives and His plans for our lives. He promises that He will work everything together for the good of those who love Him, and knowing that promise as truth gives us full freedom to trust in Him.
Knowing that God does not lie, that He cannot lie, also allows us to share freely with others about Him. We don’t have to worry about if He is going to represent us well or, for lack of a better term, embarrass us if He doesn’t back up what He says -- like we often worry with our human counterparts.
There are many verses in the Bible that tell of God’s nature, these are just a few. But it is important to realize that these were put in the Bible to assure us that the mighty and wonderful God we serve is One who desires to take care of us. He wants us to trust Him, and He makes sure that we can, so it is up to us to take Him at His flawless word and take refuge in Him.
Biblical References
· Exodus 20:16
· Numbers 23:19
· Hebrews 6:18
· Luke 1:37
· Proverbs 30:5
Reflection Questions
· How do feelings of frustration, inadequacy, etc. affect our communication?
· Have you ever hurt someone with a lie, intentionally or unintentionally? How did you feel towards that person or about that situation?
· Have you ever been hurt by someone else’s lie?
· What feelings arise when you hear that it is impossible for God to lie?
· How does this truth help you see God in a new light?
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